Why dogs? Why not?
This is a very good question, and one I struggled with for years myself, so let's take a deeper look. We'll discuss two aspects of commitment, positive and negative, and then two sources of it, external and internal. I argue that the bad rap that commitment and marriage all often get is due to the the combination of the negative aspect of commitment and the external source of it.
Commitment, in this sense, has two aspects, one negative and one positive. The one which commenters like the one quoted above criticize is the negative one, which focuses on constraints and rules. That is the "business" or contractual aspect of marriage, the "thou shalt nots" that get us into so much trouble when we decide "yes, we shall."
OK, a dog with people.
Source: http://www.hubbardphotography.com/vancouver-wedding-photographer.htmlBut there is an important but neglected positive aspect that explains why people voluntarily enter into commitments like marriage: it is way of expressing your love and devotion to another person. Not the only way, of course, but a well-established and particularly declarative way.
And these two aspects of commitment are, to a large extent, inseparable: the public declaration of devotion would not mean as much without the promised made therein. The fact that, in a traditional wedding ceremony, a couple stands up in front of the people who mean the most to them in the world and promise to love each other, support each other, and be true to each other, is what gives that public statement its force. It's also what makes it so heartbreaking, especially to those in attendance at the wedding, when those vows are broken (even if for good reason). And it can be safely assumed that no one would make such promises if not to express to the other person his or her devotion; we rarely make commitments for no reason. Rather, the commitments are the expression of love and devotion.
Now what I imagine happens with many if not most couples is that they start out emphasizing the positive aspect of the marriage commitment, and then over time the focus shifts to the negative. They take their mutual love and devotion for granted as the passion and lust fade, and the rules and constraints take center stage—and these rules and constraints end up seeming all the more binding and unfair in comparison.
This is where the sources of commitment come in. When a couple first declares their love and devotion to each other, and makes that commitment, it comes from their hearts—they want to make those promises voluntarily in expression of their love. In other words, the source of that commitment is internal. Even during the wedding ceremony, I doubt it seems like the priest, rabbi, justice of the peace, or Elvis is shackling the couple with the wedding vows—they want to make them. When the commitment is voluntarily, the positive aspect gets all the emphasis, and the negative hardly seems important. After all, why would I ever want to desert, ignore, or be disloyal to this fantastic person who I'm completely in love with? Perish the thought...
...until later on, when the bloom falls from the rose. Now the promises do not seem so voluntary, the ring seems heavier, and marriage seems more like the list of "thou shalt nots." At this point, commitment seems externally coerced, a institutional legacy of the foolishness of youth that only now made be paid for. This is even more true for marriages that did not start so rosy, that were somewhat contrived of forced by circumstances from the beginning. But even the mostly glorious, romantic marriages can decline over time, and one or both partners may start to resent the promises they once made so freely.
So when partners forget why they said their vows and made their promises in the first place, their meaning is lost, and only the ball and chain remains. One way to avoid this, obviously, is to not forget, to keep the love alive, to celebrate what brought you together in the first place. Then the rules won't seem as important, and the voluntariness of them will almost make them irrelevant—in a sense, the marriage begins anew. (There are many posts by other bloggers here that offer recommendations how to do exactly this.)
One more - dog, that is...
Source: http://www.hubbardphotography.com/vancouver-wedding-photographer.htmlI think part of blame for the excessive emphasis on the negative aspect of commitment must also be laid on the contractual nature of marriage (with its historical roots in exchange of property rather than affection). Commercial entities commit themselves to certain actions contractually to elicit certain benefits; the constraints are a means to an end, and something they would avoid if it were at all possible. But as I explained above, the marital promises are part and parcel of the expression of love and devotion; the partners want to make these promises because they reinforce to each other their love. Thinking of marriage as just a contract makes this point harder to see, and invites cynicism and skepticism.
But isn't commitment counterproductive? If your partner is forced to be faithful, how can you know he or she is being faithful out of love rather than out of obedience or fear of reprisal? This is another product of the external or contractual view of commitment that emphasizes the constraints over what they express. If indeed your partner must be induced to be faithful, then no, he or she is not truly faithful, and if your partner were truly faithful, the rules and constraints would not matter. So, in a sense, external commitment does reduce its expressive value, that's true.
But... no one is perfect. Few people imagine (or at least admit to themselves) on their wedding day that they will ever be tempted to cheat on their beloved, but we know all too well that many do cheat (and presumably more are tempted). This is exactly where the external view of the marital promise has its value: when human weakness is at play. Even the most devoted partner may be tempted, and he or she may not be strong enough to resist without the commitment (and some aren't strong enough even with it). As the legal philosopher H.L.A. Hart explains in his classic book, The Concept of Law (link is external), it is in this way that laws bind even the best of us; when tempted to skirt the law, our respect for the law, if we hold to it internally, may keep us to the straight and narrow.
Basically, if commitments (like marriage) are freely chosen and adhered to, they won't seem like commitments at all, but they will still have all the meaning that commitments ideally have. But when we start thinking of our commitments only as commitments, and lose sight of the reason we made them, then the trouble starts.
Increase the sentimental value of your wedding band for FREE by adding a personal touch through engraving. Most wedding bands can be engraved with a personalized inscription. Many couples choose to have their marriage date inscribed on the inside of their wedding bands. Here are a few other possibilities many of our customers have requested:
Mouse over each font to see sample engraving
Inside Engraving OptionsInside, Single LineAny Offered Font (see above)Free!Inside, Two LinesStandard Font Only, for 6mm and wider$18Inside, Three LinesStandard Font, for rings 8mm and wider$35Inside, other fontsAny font not offeredadd $19Inside, Tungsten BandsLaser Engraving by Special Order$45High Precision Machine Engraving
The inside of most wedding bands can hold approximately 30 characters and spaces. We recommend the standard font for 2mm, 3mm and 4mm rings because other fonts are not as readable on such narrow bands. Old English and Edwardian, for example, are so intricate that they become virtually unreadable when engraved into narrow bands. However, we understand that sometimes the presentation of a message is as important as the message itself, so we are happy to engrave any font you want on any band width!
On many rings that are 6mm wide or wider, an optional second line of engraving can be added for a total of 60 characters and spaces. On most rings that are 8mm wide or wider, three lines of engraving are possible (30 chars. & spaces each - see specific ring details) for a total of 90 characters and spaces. Just remember that intricate fonts wonít be as readable as a single line of engraving on a wider band. Larger ring sizes frequently allow a few more characters to be engraved. Feel free to contact us with any questions you have.
Don’t see your favorite font? No Problem! Select the Custom Font option on the order form and tell us which font you would prefer, and for a $19 set-up fee we will engrave all the wedding bands on your order with the requested font.
When you order, you will be prompted to choose the option of having your wedding band engraved with a personal inscription. Machine engraved bands are subject to a $20 restoration fee if returned for an exchange or refund.
We now offer laser engraving inside our Tungsten wedding bands as a special order. The charge is $45 per engraving, and because this is a special order service, laser-engraved Tungsten wedding bands will not be eligible for a refund or for sizing exchanges.
We highly recommend that you purchase and then try on your Tungsten wedding band before having it engraved. If it doesn’t fit well or if you do not like the style, then you can make a change prior to having it engraved. Don’t hesitate to contact us if you have any questions about the Laser Engraving option.
Happy Sunday and be safe. Houston, TX....we are under a tornado watch, so please be careful.
Tips for (Successfully) Writing Your Wedding VowsA (mostly) comprehensive guide
When Bryan and I made the decision to write our own wedding vows, there wasn’t much on the Internet that we could find to point us in a starting direction. So, for the most part, I winged it. I collected every snippet of info I could find on personal vows, then we cut, pasted, wrote, tweaked, and deleted until we had something beautiful and meaningful. Later, I found an APW classic on how to write your own vows and felt pretty bad for Past Lucy, since it was nearly everything she needed to begin with. However, so you don’t have to spend the same (ridiculous) number of hours I did going down the “how to write your wedding own vows” Internet rabbit hole, I’ve expanded and updated our classic how-to, to take you from start to finish.
1. Make the decision (formally). You might have known that you’ve wanted to write your vows for years and years, but maybe your partner does not. Talk to them! Decide together that you definitely want to write them. There is nothing wrong with saying traditional vows. (Meg and David did!) But if you’re going to DIY this, both of you have to be equally committed to this concept. If not, it’s going to show in your vows.
2. Clear it with your officiant. This is an important first step that’s easily forgotten. Catholic, Episcopalian, and Jewish congregations, for example, may require you say all or part of the traditional vows. Often this won’t preclude also saying vows that you wrote, but you’ll want to know what the rules are (and what the religious reasoning for them is) up front. Some officiants may ask to review your vows before the ceremony, so be prepared to have them early if this is the case.
3. Work out the details. Will you write your vows together, or separately? Will you show them to each other beforehand, or will you keep them a secret until the ceremony? Do you want to set a due date for when you need to have your vows written? (Hey, you might laugh, but tell me you don’t know someone who wrote their vows the day of the wedding night before.)
4. Decide on a structure for your vows. Particularly if you’ve decided that you will not see each other’s vows before the ceremony, it’s not a bad idea to make sure both of you are going to be vowing somewhat similar things. You don’t want to be promising to care for someone on their deathbed, while they’re promising to always DVR Grey’s Anatomy for you. Having a structure will also help you keep your word limit, and help your vows match your partner’s. Even though we looked over each other’s vows beforehand, Bryan and I decided to use the structure below as a jumping off point. It gave us a place to start, while still allowing us to write using our own voices.
[Name] I take you to be my [husband/wife/partner]. I will love you unconditionally and without hesitation, for it is your heart that moves me, your spirit that inspires me, your humor that delights me, and your hand I want to hold for all of our days.
I promise __.
I promise __.
I will __.
I will __.
I promise to love, respect, and trust you, and give you the best of myself, for I know that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone.
Finding a structure that works for you may require some tracking down, but don’t be afraid to mix and match from lots of examples you find.
5. Research, research, research (And reflection!). A good place to start looking at vows is reading traditional ones—from your own religion, if you practice a certain faith, but from others as well. See what strikes a chord with you. You can even incorporate these into what you write, or use them as a jump-off point. Secondly, steal ideas! Borrow freely from poetry, books, even movies or video games. Jot down words and phrases that capture your feelings. The quotes you keep closest to your heart ring true for a reason. Use them. And if you’re someone who keeps a journal, go back and steal from your past self too. You’re not publishing a book, or writing a college essay. Plagiarism is both allowed and encouraged. Truth is, most vows are plagiarism, since we’re hoping to steal some wisdom from people that have gone before us.
Take some time, both separately and together, to think about what you love about each other and what makes your relationship special. Write down the most memorable moments you have shared together, good or bad. Think about the promises you want to make to your partner, and the ones you don’t. For example, I promised that Bryan would always be my family. However, I ain’t promising to obey nobody, so I made sure to keep that kind of language far away from my vows.
6. Write Early, write more than you need. Don’t leave writing your vows until the day before the wedding! Give them the time and thought they deserve, and save your future self the stress of trying to be super thoughtful—most likely, you’ll be in a million different places on the eve of your wedding, which is not the proper brain space. Work on your vows in that pocket of time after you’ve set up all your major vendors and before you have to start thinking about the details. If that’s still too far in advance, then give yourself at least a month, so you can try and write from a more relaxed, not rushed, frame of mind. A few loose deadlines: try to get a first draft together about three weeks before the wedding, and have your final version completed at least two days out. (And note: if you’re eloping or getting married on short notice, just rock it out the day before. It’ll be awesome.)
When you’re starting out, write down everything you can think of. Write more than you could possibly need. In a Google document, buried on my computer, I have at least three pages of memories, experiences, potential promises, and more. It’s far more than I ever needed for vows, but getting it all on paper allowed me to see all my thoughts at once. Eventually, the most important things rose to the surface. Write what you love about your spouse, key memories that define your relationship and why they’re important. Good writing is in the details—the specifics that speak to a universal truth. Apply this to your vows. I focused on a few experiences and memories that I felt really identified our relationship, and put my vows together using that. What are the little things that your partner appreciates that you do? How does that symbolize your overall relationship?
A big thing to think about when you’re writing: is there something that you can work on to build an even better, healthier relationship? I promised Bryan that I would not run from the challenges we might face, because my first instinct is always to flee. It was important that I promise, in front of our community, to work on that.
7. Cut It Down. Aim to have your vows last for about one minute or less per person. Believe me, it’s longer than it sounds. Get at the heart of what marrying this person means to you; pick the most important promises and make them well. If you have more to say, save the more personal thoughts and give your spouse a letter on the morning of the ceremony.
8. Refine your tone, but be yourself. It’s best to decide on your overall tone before you put pen to paper, but make sure to go back over your words and refine towards the tone you want to achieve. Poetic and romantic? Humorous but touching? It’s up to you. The most important thing is that your vows ring true and sound like they’re from your heart. However, while your vows can be lighthearted, they should, in some way, acknowledge the seriousness of the commitment you’re about to make. Use humor in moderation, and remember, at the end of the day, making the audience laugh is not your goal.
Your vows shouldn’t be so personal that they can’t be followed by anyone, so don’t make them overly cryptic, or embarrassing. You’ve invited your family and friends to witness your vows in order to make your bond public, so think about your words from their point of view—your guests want to feel included in that moment, even if they’re not feeling exactly what you’re feeling. That means putting a soft limit on inside jokes, deeply personal anecdotes, obscure nicknames, or code words. Moderation is key. Unless it’s just the two of you eloping, in which case, go crazy.
9. Practice! Memorization is optional, practicing is not. Practice looking up while you read so you can actually look at your partner as you say your vows, and so you can be confident in speaking clearly—it’s common to mumble or speak softly when reading, so practice so your family and friends will hear you. These are words meant to be heard by an audience, so check how they sound when spoken. Read your vows out loud to make sure they flow easily. Watch out for tongue twisters and run on sentences—you don’t want to run out of breath or stumble over your words.
10. At the end of the day, they’re your words. do what you want. Seriously. Your vows don’t even have to sound or read like vows; you could write an essay, a sonnet, or rap them if that’s what is going to mean the most to you. Vows should sound like you, especially when you’re making promises to your partner. On this day of all days, you shouldn’t sound like someone else.
What to Wear to A Summer WeddingIt may not be your special day, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to look gorgeous. The problem is that what to wear to a summer wedding can be tricky. Because you shouldn’t have to stress out about a wedding that isn’t yours, we’ve put together some tips to ensure that you’ll turn heads while sticking to the dress code. Now all you’ve got to worry about is how to get that cute groomsman to dance with you.
What to Wear to a Summer Wedding: Basic Dos and Don’tsDo
Price per plate? Ah! Help! I've been looking into venues lately and I'm pretty shocked at how much these places charge per plate!
My FSIL is getting married in a few months and her venue charges $45 per plate... But with taxes & whatever else they decide to add on, it's up near $59 per plate.
Should I then assume that if a venue says that their "wedding package 2" is $39.95 I'd be paying up near $50 a plate?
Those of you who have paid per plate- how much did you pay and what would you say is average? I'm trying to figure out what is reasonable. Posted On: Jul 2, 2010 at 4:57 PM • Vendors are allowed • !«12»
Married: 2+ years agoIn the Chicago area, we'll be paying $88 per plate, plus 8% tax. That $88 includes their 20% service fee. The venues that we looked at ranged between $65 per plate (basic chicken, potato and veggie), to $140 per plate.
Our area though is on the high end...it depends on where you are located as to what you'll be paying/what's reasonable. When looking online, keep in mind that most venues charge local area tax and a 20% service fee.
Depends on your area, my venue ranges from 19.95 to 49.94 plus 8% sales taxs and 20% grutity(sp) not including alcohol • Married: 10/22/2011
Married: 08/27/2011Im doing a wedding package and its 5400.00 out the door!!!Married: 10/20/2012 Holy crap... $88 per plate!?! I guess I should feel fortunate then... Hahaa. I've seen everything from $29.95 per plate to around $63.00. I'm kind of looking to stay between $30 & $45. I'm just shocked at how much gets added on...
Married: 2+ years agoIve seen packages in my area from around I think $35-65 a person (and of course higher too). Most places have you add tax and then an additional 18 or 20% gratuity....so always remember to check if you need to add that in, cause it makes a big difference!Married: 02/20/2011 You have to remember that it isn't just the food, but dishes, glasses, linens, etc... The money is going to lots of different hands. Many packages I've looked at around Los Angeles are well over $50 per plate, many going into the high $80s or $90s.
Married: 05/08/2011 ::hides as I say this:: My plates are 18.50/person. It's buffet style and after I went to pay the rest of my deposit, the price went up, so I think that I got a really good deal. The caterer is a reputable guy too--the venue that I use just has good deals and a good relationship with the venues that she uses.Married: 10/20/2012 $18.50!??! WOAH. Is buffet style really cheaper?
Epicure Events and Design
On Long Island many packages start at $69 per plate for a basic package and can run easily to $150 per plate. In your area maybe you should look to hire a wedding planner to help you with the process many are very affordable and very in range (more than what brides think). They can help negotiate appropriate contracts for you and your budget so there aren't any hidden fees. Ask your venues if they are willing to do an inclusive price (which many don't but it doesn't hurt to ask). An inclusive price is they give you a price and that is what you are paying and it can't change. So if your budget is $30,000 (average Long Island wedding) you know that $15,000 is going to your venue and that includes tax and tip. I know it's hard to explain but instead of asking per person ask for an overall price.Married: 06/25/2011It all depends on location. We are doing buffet style too and ours is $21.75 per plate. Our venue does the catering and I have heard that the food is really really good. Oh and my wedding is in Ohio.
Taste the CakeAs you start setting up appointments, find out when each baker's next tasting is scheduled. At tastings, clients are invited into the bakery to sample exemplary cakes, ask questions, and review portfolios. This is an excellent opportunity to meet bakers and fully understand the range of their abilities.
Select a StyleDeal with the cake after all decisions about dress style and reception decor have been made. These elements can serve as a blueprint for the design and structure of your wedding cake. Choose a cake that's compatible with the style of the venue, the season, your gown, the flower arrangements, or the menu. If you want colorful accents (such as sugar flowers or icing ribbons), give your baker fabric swatches. The cake should be part of the wedding, not a glaring sideshow.
Size It UpGenerally, three tiers will serve 50 to 100 guests; you'll likely need five layers for 200 guests or more. If the reception is in a grand room with high ceilings, consider increasing the cake's stature with columns between the tiers. (A "stacked" cake is one with its layers stacked directly atop each other, with no separators.)
Price It OutWedding cake often is priced by the slice -- the cost varies, but generally ranges from $1.50 to $15 per slice (though this is a very general and loose estimate). The more complicated the cake (based on intricate decorations or hard-to-find fillings), the higher the price tag. Fondant icing is more expensive than buttercream, and if you want elaborate molded shapes, vibrant colors, or handmade sugar-flower detailing, you'll pay for the cake designer's labor.
Find Ways to SaveOrder a small cake that's decorated to perfection but can only feed a handful plus several sheet cakes of the same flavor to actually feed the guests. Stay away from tiers, handmade sugar flowers, and specially molded shapes. Garnish with seasonal flowers and fruit for an elegant (but less expensive) effect. If you'll have a dessert table (or another sweet) in addition to the cake, consider a cake sized for half your guests. Servings will be smaller, but the fee will shrink too.
Get the Facts on FrostingButtercream or fondant? That's the main question. Buttercream is often much more delicious. But if you love the smooth, almost surreal-like look of fondant as much as we do, consider frosting the cake in buttercream first and then adding a layer of fondant over the entire confection.
Consider the WeatherIf you're having an outdoor wedding in a hot climate, stay away from whipped cream, meringue, and buttercream: They melt. Ask your baker about summer icing options; You might want to go for a fondant-covered cake -- it doesn't even need to be refrigerated.
Mind Your MagazinesKeep in mind, magazines (like ours) have food stylists, editors, and assistants working nonstop to keep the cakes looking perfect. These people spend hours fixing the sweating, dripping, leaning, or sagging that can happen to a cake after it's been sitting for a while. And if what they do doesn't work, they can fix it with Photoshop. They also have the luxury of creating cakes from stuff that isn't edible -- most cakes in magazines are iced pieces of Styrofoam, which certainly doesn't taste very good. So don't expect your cake designer to be able to replicate exactly what you see in print.
Take Note: It's All in the DetailsWhen it comes to decoration, adornment costs run the gamut. The most inexpensive option is fresh fruits or flowers that, in some instances, can be applied by your florist for a minimal fee. On the high end are delicate gum paste or sugar paste flowers, which are constructed by hand, one petal at a time. But here's the bottom line: All add-ons -- including marzipan fruits, chocolate-molded flowers, and lace points -- will raise the rate. (For the record, we think it's worth the cost!)
Encourage Cake CollaborationIf you want to garnish your cake with fresh flowers, find out if the cake designer will work with your florist, or if you are responsible for the blooms. If the florist is running the show, will she have time to adorn the cake? Be wary of elaborate floral accents if your reception space decor is labor-intensive.
Get Him Involved!The popularity of the groom's cake, traditionally a Southern custom, is on the rise. The bride's cake -- the one cut by the couple at the reception -- is traditionally eaten as dessert. The groom's cake is usually darker and richer (often chocolate) and nowadays crafted to show off the groom's passions and obsessions. Give slices to guests as a take-home memento or cut and serve both for dessert.
Go Mini?Many bakers agree that the idea of a mini cake (where each guest gets his or her own) is a great idea -- in theory but not always in practice. Not only does each cake require its own decoration (often as intricate, if not more, than one that's four times its size), each will require its own box. Unfortunately, boxes don't come in mini-cake sizes. Often the bakery must construct individual boxes in which to transport these cakes. Multiply by however many guests you'll be having, and you'll see what a costly, time-consuming feat this actually is. That said, if you can swing it, they look amazing being passed around by waiters on sleek silver trays (and of course, they taste just as great too).
Get It On DisplayYour cake will likely be on display before it's cut and consumed. Make sure there is a designated cake table that allows the most elegant presentation possible. A round table is perfect for round cakes, but a linear cake design may call for a rectangular table. Figure out your options. Once you have a cake table, have fun dressing it up: Drape it with sumptuous fabrics and decorate it with motifs, colors, and flowers to match the cake (your florist can help).
Top It OffThere are many beautiful and unique ways to top off your cake, so you can avoid plastic figurines (unless you're going for cool-kitsch). If you have an heirloom piece -- especially a fine porcelain antique -- work with your baker to integrate it into an appropriate design. A pair of sugar or gingerbread cookies can look charming atop a country wedding cake. Finely sculpted maple sugar or marzipan figurines are quaint. Other alternatives: a bouquet of sugar flowers, a cascade of icing ribbons, or even a sugar block carved out to reveal your new monogram.
Lock Down Delivery DetailsCake delivery takes coordination. Complex cakes may not necessarily be delivered in final form. Allow time and space for assembly, if needed. Refrigeration may also be required. For more on last-minute details, review our Points for the Contract
After the Wedding...Avoid freezer burn! Even if you take the most painstaking packaging measures, eating the top tier of your cake on your first anniversary sounds far better than it tastes. Think about indulging on your two-week or one-month anniversary, and treat yourself to a fresh cake in the same flavor when you've survived the first year. If you must adhere to tradition, wrap the cake in plastic wrap, then bag it in an airtight baggie. Stay away from aluminum foil -- it might not protect against freezer burn as well as plastic wrap because it's not an airtight material.
Bridal Shower Host Etiquette Q&A In charge of planning the bridal shower? If only the affair were strictly tea and treats. We know you're facing a sudden downpour of tricky issues -- why not read our guide to troubleshooting sticky shower situationsQ: I'm scared my bridal shower is going to be a snore. How can I tell my maid of honor what kind of shower I want?
A: Back off, bridezilla. (Just kidding.) Seriously though, you cannot take control of this party being thrown in your honor. But while we're sure your maid of honor is trying to plan a bridal shower that suits your personality, there's no reason you can't give her a little guidance. When she approaches you to decide on the date, drop subtle hints like, "Any weekend in May would be perfect, since I love the gardenlike feel of spring." Better yet, enlist a shower spy: Share your concerns with a trustworthy bridesmaid who can help steer the maid of honor toward your bridal shower ideas and your sense of style.
Q: Who is expected to throw my bridal shower? I was hoping it could be at my mom's house.
A: It's long been customary for the maid of honor or the bridesmaids to throw the wedding shower -- so if any one of them is your sister, you're in luck and it would be totally acceptable to throw the bridal shower at your mom's. Your mom can take on the role of cohost -- the mavens of manners no longer look down upon that as a quest for presents (after all, bridal shower gifts are usually expected no matter who's hosting).
Really, it comes down to who wants to throw you the bridal shower: your aunts, the groom's family, your mom's best friends, your college pals, even your coworkers. More brides and grooms are living in cities other than the one where they grew up, and their attendants may be from college, where they live now, or elsewhere. What if the wedding is in the bride's hometown, but none of the maids live there? It's unrealistic to expect a maid of honor in Seattle to plan a shower in Chicago without help from the locals. Faraway bridesmaids and honor attendants definitely pitch in, but Mom is often party central these days, and no one's horrified.
Q: My mother's friend is throwing my bridal shower. Should I bring a hostess gift?
A: A nice, handwritten thank-you note would be perfectly acceptable, but many brides also choose to show their gratitude with a small gift. Some ideas: a flower arrangement, a box of homemade treats, or a lunch out on the town.
Q: My girlfriend and I want to give our friend a luncheon bridal shower at a restaurant. Who pays for the meal? My girlfriend says each guest should pay for her own meal, but I want to do the right thing.
A: If you two are hosting the bridal shower and inviting the guests, then you two should pay for it. If a luncheon seems too expensive, think about tea or dessert instead, or have the luncheon at one of your homes. It's cheaper to come up with a menu and cook it yourselves than to plan a restaurant event.
Mother of the Groom Duties in DetailIf the Mother of the Groom is eager to get in on the action, here's a roundup of duties to keep her involved.Photo by Emily Moseley PhotographyTraditionally, the bride's mother has absorbed most of the pre-wedding responsibilities, while the groom's family assumed more of a back seat. Nowadays, both moms take on a significant role in the planning process, especially if the two families are sharing the financial burden. No matter what the case, here's what's expected of the mother of the groom.
This tell it like it is Trainer is no stranger to educating others. If you want real results without spending thousands of dollars, Operation Shape Up has the answers for you. The daily blog is intended to assist you getting over the hurdles.